City50 smacks you

Lets see now......City50 2nd in chips already in the money sitting with giggle giggle and the fugitive. Fugitive decides that since he is out of his sling and has had his sex change surgery he decided he was gonna push all in with his KJ when City50 has 88 in the big blind. Of course City50 insta calls because he knew that the fugitive had a BS hand. Of course like clockwork K blank K on the flop and City50 is crippled and two hands later knocked out by giggle giggle. City50 3rd place. City50 did some dishonorable things by throwing the cards, and slamming his chips on the table and City50 would like to take this time to say SMD! The old City50 is back bitches beware!

Now for some action at the featured table. PARAG who last week introduced us to Nora (Matador) now known as (I GOT U) who played extremely well and took 2nd place last week. This week I GOT U gets in a big hand early with PARAG. City50 limps UTG with AK of spades four more limpers including I GOT U and the action comes to PARAG who is on the button and he raises. City50 along with the other four limpers call. Flop comes 2 K 4 two hearts one spade. Checks all the way around to PARAG who bets the pot. City50 being the pro that he is shows his cards to UPSPAWNGE and GORDO the other pro's at the table and throws his AK into the muck. Anyone else fold there? Unless you are a pro not likely. So any how action folds to I GOT U who calls the bet, 5 of spades on the turn and PARAG fires a huge bet. I GOT U thinks and says I shouldnt call this but I am. River J of hearts. I got U flips up her nut flush and states I GOT U hence the well earned name. Now I GOT U flipped her cards before any action took place on the river, actually saving PARAG the rest of his chips why you ask....well PARAG only had KK in his hand and floped a set. Anyhow I GOT U goes on to play well the rest the nite only to have her AA cracked by City50's 44 in a huge pot then later she bubbled when her A6 ran into City50's AA.

City50 had the bluff of the nite when UPSPAWNGE raised UTG and City50 reraised with AJ of spades causing UPSPAWNGE to fold his QQ. Crow made a short visit to the stable and City50 bad beat? his KQ of diamonds with City50's AA. Kenny made a long awaited return to the stable last nite. Lets just say Kenny played like Kenny but just having him at the table is a joy (love ya brotha).

GIGGLE GIGGLE took down the tourney last nite therefore winning a New years day bet between he and UPSPAWNGE. Giggle Giggle was bet that he would not win a tourney in three months time. You were right Tone it only took that lucky mother fucker two weeks not three months LOL!

The Fugitive took 2nd place last nite. Thats all I am gonna say about that. Feelings might get hurt and lets just say I am saving my super Karate chop and litteral knock outs for another day.

Another great nite at the stable and all who havent played with us please come join us. City50 outy 5000 Peace!

PS> I GOT U...........WOW WOW WOW WOW.

With out war we can have no peace, with out peace all we would have is war.........

City50 AA Bert 88.....8 on the flop oh well nice hand Bert What ever! Kyle's friend Mr. K9 this is the best hand Ive seen all nite.....SMD! What ever! AQ vs KJ Kyle wins What ever! City50 out of donkament. Now a comment was made by The Bonkey. The Bonkey said " Roar Roar Hee Haw Hee Haw Roaaaaaaar" which translated to english means i cant belive I dont have a winning picture on the wall at the stable.....and I feel like some fresh salmon in a salad of hay. I simply explained to the Bonkey that we did not have a movie projector to take his picture due to his just above average size. Earlier in the night I survived a bonkey attack his gigantic paws on my shoulders, heavy breathing in my ear, drool and spit, for me a scary as hell moment now for Upspwnge (Fantasy come true!). For those of you who have never had the great expierince of playing at the Stable you dont know what you are missing. We have a man with six dicks (Giggle Giggle), slow rolling lil bitches (The Fugitive) half bear half donkey man (the bonkey) talking birds (Crow),begginers (fremontkyle), pro's such as (City50 Upspwnge Piraz Gordo Parag and many more) we have people who will bad beat you, ( Mark it doesnt matter what cards you have I will beat you and cruch your hope G) Beer and alcohol (which i try my best to consume it all) beautiful women (giggle giggle's wife Parag's friend and the most beautiful girls ALI and EVA!) Sometimes you leave the stable happy having had a great time....other times the other voice in my head has to say put the gun down start your car and drive home, they are all good people!. The stable is like getting super hammered having great sex all nite long then just when your about to bust that happy juice , you throw up and shit yourself because some idiot had K9! Kyle your friend is no longer welcome at the stable thats right watch your back motherfucker you are going down! Just playing dude nice playing with ya come back any time. City50 decided to end his blogs with a quote/metaphor now so here it goes just some random thoughts in the mind of City50.

Homefield advantage - When you have to take a shit, you can shit any where, but shitting at home feels the best! (Plus you can jerk it)

City50 outy 5000!

City50 made his weekly appearance at the stable on new years day. City50 was feeling super after staying up till 5am new years eve reading poker books and idolizing his role model UPSPWNGE actually City50 was getting fucking smashed and UPSPWNGE was at home making a new year's wish......." Dear God please let me grow this year, I am not asking for feet only 2 or 3 inches so I can feel like a real boy!" Then the next day UPSPWNGE drinks 1/2 a coorslite and claims to be drunk! Wow we had fun! You were hammered and spoke jibberish the whole nite but you were suprisingly hilarious. So back to the stable another unfourtunate nite for City50. Finishing 4th and Tony fix that shit because I bubbled not Kyle me...Kyle was to busy getting crushed by my boy CRIIIIIZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! Thats right Kyle learn how to play and know that top pair will be beat by two pair on the river! (And you might say well it was all in on the flop and you were ahead....very true but its not my fault you were not born with the skills of City50 and you are able to see the near future. Read a book son! Just kidding that was horrible and it was nice playing with you. City50 coin flipped with Crow 99 vs AJ and Crow spike dhis Ace on the flop and that was it!

Now some stories. Vinnie Mac made an appearance and was crushed in a hand by Giggle Giggle's lovely wife Doodle Bop. Then was semi slow rolled in the same hand.......Nice. V Mac flopped set and Doodle Bop rivered a bigger set classic, We learned that UPSPWNGE's best friend was extremely proud to have been voted BIGGEST PREPY BITCH in high school which City50 had to remind him he still was lol. Springs made his long awated return and played great. Sober poker what a difference. I experienced that when i donk get smashed I play better.....which means I play better than perfect! Thats right City50 is the most Perfectist player in the whole world.

I dont have any bad beat stories except for Crow RAPING Kyle with his J7. I can explain. Most people say...... I got fucked in a hand. The truth is you are not getting fucked you can choose to fuck or not fuck. The fact of the matter is you got raped...you didnt want to get fucked, you screamed no stop I dont want to.....there for it was rape. This metaphor is trade marked by City50 for usage only in bad beat poker hands. Any how I heard Mark G make a comment about not having a nickname so here it goes. " Mark (It doesnt matter how good your hand is or how far behind i am I will end up beating you some how and crushing your hope) G. Again trade marked by City50. Suck my dicks and Im outy 5000 G!

Last week City50 didnt get drunk enough or suffer any horrible play from any of the donkeys at the stable so unfourtunatley I didnt have any amo for my blog. Hopefully my next blog will have a story to tell and I GUAREN DAMN TEE the story will end with a City50 victory! 2009 is my year.........its been three years since City50's remarkable dominance in the poker world......City50 has been a dormant volcano for the past three years. All the bad beats unlucky hands and just pure stupid drunk play has been bubbling and heating up deep inside of City50. This is a warning to all poker players who step in front of City50.....City50 will explode and burn you like liquid hot magma! This is a WARNING! This is City50's year ..........City50 will now be known as City50 The Diablo! Which means fighting chicken in spanish.........The fire is coming kids and City50 is holding five gallons of gas and a bic lighter! The volcano is smoking and when it erupts CITY50's magma will take over the poker world!......(Just imagine if Giggle Giggle's valcano erupted or should I say VOLCANO'SSSSSS!) GAME OVER kids City50 and his take over is approaching!!!!! Fear the future ......... City50 outy five thousand G!

Well what can I say this week, City50 played perfect and his tourney came down to a coin flip which crippled him against T Gags. Im happy to see that Giggle Giggle took it down you're my boy and you have a HORSESHOE sergically inserted in your ass. I have no stories to tell from the stable but a message for all. I wish you all a very merry christmas and a happy new years. Nothing but love and warm wishes going out to you and yours this holiday season. Just remember that family always comes first and if you are not happy at home you will not be happy anywhere. T Gags, Giggle Giggle, Petey Petey, Hectic and all my boys from the stable, City50 loves you all and again have a merry christmas and SUCK MY DICKS! LOL Take care all see you kids next week. Giggle Giggle the JAGS SUCK go COLTS!

Lets just say when it comes to this topic City50 is a true proffesional and never is a sore looser. Unlike my good friend Giggle Giggle (we call him chochi for short). We are at the stable last nite playing in our weekly donkament. City50 plays a big hand where he limps with KK, has loud mouth T. Fag Gags announce City50's play to the table. Luckily City50's life long friend D-Ray was too distacted by the bottle of Patron Silver we had finished with in the first 1/2 hour of the Donkament. Thanks to (I called in sick on wednesday for "personal" reasons known to his castorian friends as The MEAT.....Bonkey.) D-Ray raises from 5K to 15K. Action folds to City50 who does his best acting job to sell his already exposed hand and shoves all in. Of course D-Ray now knows he is defeated and folds allowing City50 to pick up a 20K pot. (Played to PERFECTION by City50). This short stories leads to our topic.

Not three hand later my good friend Giggle Giggle limps in early position with AA. Now Giggle Giggle has done this many of times in many of Donkaments. ( Usually this play leads to the exit of the donkament for Giggle Giggle, and on ocassion big pots won as well). So any how action folds over to the big blind which happens to be Gee.... Gosh....... I forgot my hat Gordo. Gordo has KJ. Any how the flop comes and of course like clock work K J blank on the flop and Giggle Giggle's ultimate plan to sneak attack a huge pot, runs right into a brick wall layed down by Gordo. Giggle Giggle is crippled from the blow. Comments are made on the limp AA and we find out some very interesting information from our good friend. Giggle Giggle obviously upset cause his AA got Bad Beat? by the big blind (forced action no choice to fold when limped on with AA) by two pair KJ. Now for the Freak of nature part.

For the first time in the world and probably the universe we discovered that a man can have 6..... thats right.... 6 DICKS!. After the AA bad beat? Giggle Giggle and I quote tells the table " Fuck all you bitches! I'm gonna make all you bitches suck all my dicks!" What the FUCK? At this point there was 6 people at the table meaning Giggle Giggle has 6 gigantic dicks that he wanted to force upon us.........As usual City50 picked up on this statement and thats our blog kids. I have to admitt I can not compete with 6 dicks nor would i want to try. Needless to say the 6 headed monster never came out of the cage and shortly after Giggle Giggle was knocked out of the donkament. City50 was as well. City50 and Giggle Giggle jumped in City50's pony and went home.....(and NONE of the 6 monsters tried to attack City50.) See you next week kids.

You know that feeling you get when you have sat at a table with 8 other people for hours and you finally get it down to three people when the stable is paying top 2. Well I know how that feels. I also know how it feels to be bubbled out by a donkey (T. GAGS). Oh we would have got it all in any way with your KJ vs my A5..............BuuuuuuuuuuuullShiiiiit! for you to treat me like that is like a slap in the face. Learn how to fold a hand would you please! Let me break it to you slowly so you can understand this.......I crush 5'2 little pony playing bitches like you all the time. I seriously think you need to read a book on how to play this game called poker. You are the biggest NIT in the world with your standards raises and your poker jabs...ALL IN, UTG, CUT OFF, POSISTION, POT ODDS, well here is a perfect one for you......SMD! (easy to figure it out kids). You wanna be poker pro......wake up and smell the City50 Smack! You are a flea and thats right I am that big dog! I hope you are using your hooked on phonics I bought you last Xmas to read this blog. Any how this whole entry is false but I had fun typing it. I hope you feel real good about your last win cause I gunnin for you thursday son.....nothing but love see see you thursday!