1. 2008-02-02 14:17:08

   WeezerMoo and the Seven Donkey Dwarves

   So one day Stephen was bragging about pwning a player named MyNameIsNobody on BugsysClub and described him as having become bluffy and floaty because of what had transpired. I then responded by saying that Bluffy and Floaty were two of the Seven Donkey Dwarves. He said we had to name them....so I did. The seven dwarves I am about to describe are now the way I describe the players I play with online day in and day out....especially at Pokerworld. Some days I will literally be sitting with one of each of them all at one table. It's so much more entertaining to name them like this instead of just calling them all donks. Here they are and how I play against them.

   The Seven Donkey Dwarves: Bluffy, Floaty, Limpy, Shovey, Tilty, Minny, and Station. (One has to not follow the sound scheme of the other names...like Doc).

   • Bluffy - This character is obvious. He loves nothing more than to make a player fold a hand, only to show him the bluff and laugh in his face. These players are everywhere. They don't last long as their bluffs start to get picked off and they don't know when to stop. Any card that could complete a scary hand, they will bluff at.
     • Response - call Bluffy down light more often than other players and check to him to give him the chance to bluff into your big hands.

   • Floaty - This player will call your raises preflop alot and then call any continuation bet you make on the flop just to see what you will do on the turn. They are always suspicious and love to take down that pot with 4th pair when you check the turn and river to them.
     • Response - Fire a 2nd barrel at this player more often than you would other players. He will fold. Also check more often with good hands on the turn so he will suspiciously call your river bets when he would have otherwise folded on the turn.

   • Limpy - This guy almost never raises preflop. He limps almost every hand because he thinks every hand deserves to see the flop. He hit that four of a kind that one time with 4-7 offsuit and is now convinced every hand is going to. He can't stand to see a flop that would have hit a hand he folded.
     • Response - punish this player by raising in position after he limps over and over and over and over.

   • Shovey - He loves nothing more than to have all of his chips in the pot. Pot is 40 dollars; he has 240 dollars and top pair...let's go all in over the 30 dollar bet you made..WOOHOO! He has no concept of bet sizing. He is scared of being drawn out on.
     • Response - He puts you in a lot of tough situations with no pot odds. You simply play tight and wait for the made hand to call his shove with. You can't draw against this player as he never lets you. You will slow play more often vs. this player than you do others.

   • Tilty - This dwarf is hilarious. He need only get bad beat or coolered once and all logic and sense leave him. He starts opening pots for 10 big blinds or shoving 100 big blinds in after a simple 4 big blind opening raise. He's the best of all the dwarves to play against because you always know when he is going to explode.
     • Response - Play him normal until he takes that beat then wait for a hand. It doesn't even have to be a great hand. Sometimes A9 offsuit is good enough to call Tilty when he's going insane, convinced the world is rigged and out to get him.

   • Minny - Minny is the most annoying and pesky of all the donkey dwarves. Minny is named as such because she bets and raises the minimum every single time she puts money in the pot. 80 Dollar pot?...let's bet 4 dollars!! Yay, I'm a good player! This player will lead out for the minimum almost every hand no matter what they have. How then can you tell what to do?
     • Response - I raise this players min bets endlessly. When they lead out for min with a good hand, they will almost always let you know by reraising the minimum and you can get away. Otherwise, they hand you tons of decent sized pots by folding to your raises of their min bets. They love to fold, thinking that they only put the minimum in that betting round and it's no big deal, ignoring the pot that has already been built.

   • Station - He's the guy who just calls every bet you make...the calling station. If he hits anything at all, he calls the flop, calls the turn, and then calls or folds the river based on whether he hit his hand/improved or not. He can't handle being bluffed.
     • Response - Never bluff Station because we know he is going to call. Station doesn't bet much, mostly calls, so you can get to showdown with alot of medium strength hands cheaply. Take those opportunities. When you make anything better than that, like top pair or better, fire fire fire at him and get the maximum value.

   I hope my entertaining myself with the term Donkey Dwarves is at least slightly enjoyable to anyone who reads this. Keep in mind that some players are multiple dwarves at the same time....a jackpot of dwarfiness. And the next time you play online poker with one of them, make sure you visualize them as little dwarves donking away money at their computers.....because they are!

   Posted by WeezerMoo at 2008-02-02 14:17:08

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Comments on “WeezerMoo and the Seven Donkey Dwarves”

1. • Posted by Alexis (unverified) g 2008-02-28 04:39:06
   • 

   • I don't know if I'm more horrified by the sexist manner of your dwarves, with only one female of the very timid type, or the fact that I'm a textbook Minny with a twist! When I play tight tables, I find that the Minny strategy helps me control the betting when I'm out of position (i.e. first to act), it's a family pot and I have a drawing hand. It's a sneaky bet that says nothing and if there are many players in the pot, it is likely that the players that might have hit the flop (just not hard) won't raise the min bet because they have action behind them. So I get a very cheap card and build the pot in case I hit. But, you're right, you can't do this play very often or people get fed up with it. Following on the heels of fairly tight/aggressive play, however, it kinda freaks the other players out and gets me a cheap card, which I'm happy to get.

     Since I'm anything but a timid player, I get away with it from time to time. Sometimes it works so well, I do it more times than I should and your strategy is exactly what makes me change up my play again. The investment is so small, it's not a terrible play to have in the playbook for occasional use.

     It is the yin to the aggressive players yang.

2. • Posted by Jason M g 2008-02-08 18:13:38
   • 

   • That same guy luck-sacked me w/ J8 against my A4, too :p

3. • Posted by Ethan g 2008-02-08 07:02:54
   • 

   • I thought I was limpy for a sec... but then I remembered I do raise pre-flop!

     I'd add Lucky, the mystical dwarf who sits on the shoulder of one of the others, reinforcing their donkeyness. Like the guy I played with today - went all in short stacked with K8. He flips over... K8, one diamond. Split pot, I'm happy. Flop comes down with 2 diamonds. Guess what? Runner-runner flush FTW.

4. • Posted by Jason M g 2008-02-03 07:51:38
   • 

   • What about "Sucky", the dwarf who calls pot-sized bets with flush or straight draws? That's how I lost most of my stack in the tournament I played today. Ugh. Of course, even though I had a really bad feeling he hit his flush, I still didn't want to believe it and bet into him. He went all in, I folded, he showed the flush. AARGH!

     In better news, the cash game after the tournament was dealer's call!!! That took me back a bit. Low Chicago, Follow the Bitch, Omaha Hi-Lo, and a few new ones, including a game much like Pips w/o the pipping (you chose card A, B, or random from the deck to make your hand).

     Best hand of the night for me was early on playing Omaha High. I had AKK9, raise, and 4 people called. Flop? Yeah, KK8 - what else? Here's a lesson - if there's a flush draw and you have quads, bet it. They'll call. And then when they make it they'll pay you off more. I stupidly checked the flop and turn waiting for them to hit, but they never did, so I only got one caller on the river. Oops.

     I got my $40 buy-in back 3 times over. Man I love dealer's call.

5. • Posted by uzjedi (unverified) g 2008-02-02 14:52:18
   • 

   • I once called "80sDude" with A9 for over 150 BBs when he started shoving all in pre-flop every hand. Though he just did it for "fun."

     Man, I think those donkey dwarves banded together and beat the crap out of me recently. That's right. I'm even whining in your blog comments. :p